IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You and some friends ate a meal at restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you were very pleased with the food and service. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter Give details of your visit to the details Explain the reason for the celebration Say what was good about the food and the service

#friends #restaurant #occasion #food #service #manager #visit #reason #celebration
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to appreciate your
restaurant
 for its pleasant service and enjoyable food. I
was
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 thinking
to visit
Change preposition
of visiting
show examples
 your
restaurant
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long time.
However
, I have an abundance of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with my work and family. And, I
decided
Add the particle
decided to
show examples
 go to the
restaurant
 with my friends. We celebrated Shayla's b-day. All
togethe
Correct your spelling
together
.
we
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 were 5 people. Your
restaurant
 was so lively, you know. There
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a vast amount of superb
singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
 and lovely
dancer
Fix the agreement mistake
dancers
show examples
. They were so awesome. When we were eating
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 course and gossiping
other
Change preposition
about other
show examples
 girls
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suddenly we heard Selena's delighted voice. We can't believe in our eyes. Selena is the best singer, I would say.
Moreover
, my best friend Shayla
also
 sang with Selena.
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was her dream. Umm, she achieved one of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
her best
dream
Change to a plural noun
dreams
show examples
 from my point of view. I think your place was out of
this
 world. There was plenty
Change preposition
of foods
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. I loved
dessert
Correct article usage
the dessert
show examples
 Malabi.
This
 was enjoyable for me. I sincerely appreciate your service and
nice
Correct article usage
the nice
show examples
 waitress. She was so
breathtaking
Correct article usage
a breathtaking
show examples
 girl and so elated. I
also
thanks
Change the verb form
thank
show examples
 her help. I'm thrilled to go
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
restaurant
. I'm so glad for that. Soon, I'll come again with my family. Warm wishes Yours faithfully, Bayramoy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Focus on directly addressing each prompt point in separate paragraphs to ensure clarity and full task coverage.
suitable writing tone
Use formal language appropriate for a letter to a manager, avoiding overly casual phrases and ensuring correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
logical structure
Organize your letter logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs each covering a specific point, and a conclusion to improve readability and effectiveness.
greeting and closing
Include a proper greeting (e.g., 'Dear Manager,') and closing ('Yours sincerely, [Your full name]') to adhere to letter-writing conventions.
single idea per paragraph
Dedicate each paragraph to a single idea, using transitions to link them for smoother progression and better understanding.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • outstanding
  • exquisite
  • impeccable
  • flawless
  • attentive
  • accommodating
  • courteous
  • prompt
  • delicious
  • mouthwatering
  • satisfying
  • memorable
  • thank
  • impressed
  • appreciate
  • grateful
  • recommend
  • celebration
  • occasional
  • special
  • occasion
  • stellar
  • exceptional
  • commend
  • commendable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: