Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In 2024, it is a known fact that the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market is quite intense for job seekers
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for individuals with the least career exposure or experience in their field
such
Linking Words
as new graduates. A few of these candidates resort to enrolling in
additonals
Correct your spelling
additional
additionals
accreditations to improve their likelihood of landing adequate employment as opposed to finding supplemental jobs
while
Linking Words
they search for occupation openings in their field of study. In
this
Linking Words
write-up, I will detail and express my opinion regarding
this
Linking Words
viewpoint. On the one hand, acquiring additional skills is a step in the right direction for
entry level
Add a hyphen
entry-level
show examples
professionals. These newly obtained certifications can increase the probability of top companies perceiving
these young talent
Change the determiner
this young talent
these young talents
show examples
as high value.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
a 2022 medium blog, the big 5 companies in North America hired
majorly
Correct your spelling
major
show examples
prospects with both a
bachelors
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
and
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree. Without a doubt, I concur with the standpoint of graduates gaining more education and knowledge in order to boost the possibility of obtaining a profound job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, settling for a different employment outside one's industry of study seems underwhelming. More often than not, youth spend more time at their workplaces in comparison with the hours spent at home. From my perspective, a career should be something an individual has a strong passion for and not the opposite.
To conclude
Linking Words
, taking the risk of obtaining added accreditations to a professional's resume is probable to have a higher return
Change preposition
on
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
investment in terms of getting employed in the same field of study.
Submitted by quadrimashood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To enhance your score in task response, ensure your essay responds comprehensively to all parts of the task. Include both sides of the argument in a balanced manner and personalize your opinion distinctly. Clearly state if you agree or disagree and elaborate why, providing more detailed examples relevant to the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences that expand on this idea. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
Supported Main Points
To improve supported main points, develop your arguments with specific, detailed examples. Rather than referencing general sources like 'a 2022 medium blog', cite more tangible, specific instances or studies that directly back up your claims. This strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: