You ordered an item from an online store and it has arrived damaged. Write a letter to the retailer to comlain. In the letter. -Explain why you are unhappy. -Request a refound. -Make arrangements to return The damaged item.

Dear
sir
Capitalize word
Sir
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or Madam I
to order
Change the verb form
ordered
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product
Correct article usage
a product
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Phone
an
Change preposition
from an
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online store and it
is come
Wrong verb form
came
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to arrive me
to
Change preposition
in
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injury
at
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apply
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condition. I The goal
comlain
Correct your spelling
complain
that
phone
was a very unsatisfactory
Phone
. I am Setora Saydullayeva
l
advantage a lot thing
this
from
Correct your spelling
form
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of
Phone
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
Correct word choice
since l
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Correct word choice
since l
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l
use a lot from of Internet and
l
could not various reports after
then
from of Internet, again
l
see
a
Correct article usage
apply
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performance
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
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broadcast
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
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Change preposition
on
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at
Change preposition
on
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Phone
. I
do
Verb problem
am
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not
be
Verb problem
apply
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satisfied
this
Change preposition
with this
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from
Change preposition
apply
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Phone
because it does not work well
this
Phone
so
l
succour
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to
this
of
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apply
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Phone
. I can not use
this
Phone
anymore,
this
Phone
did not make me comfortable, so
l
could not use anything or to me please return The money, or it is The act of giving
this
of
Change preposition
apply
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Phone
. It could not be to advantage
this
from
Correct your spelling
form
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of
Phone
and it
break
Change the verb form
breaks
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this
of
Phone
Add an article
the Phone
a Phone
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movie screen. So
l
do not
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
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me to
from
Correct your spelling
form
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of
Phone
. Yours faithfully, Setora Saydullayeva
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more clearly. Start with a short introduction, follow with a paragraph for each of the points needed (unhappiness explanation, refund request, return arrangements) and finish with a respectful closing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph discusses a single idea to keep your letter easy to follow. This will greatly improve the reader's understanding and the overall flow of your writing.
Task Achievement
Try to directly address the tasks given in the prompt. Clearly state the problem with the phone, specifically ask for a refund, and propose how you intend to return the damaged item. Being direct and to the point is crucial for Task Achievement.
Task Achievement
Use a more formal and polite tone appropriate for writing to a retailer. Avoid overly casual language and ensure to use polite requests and expressions of dissatisfaction.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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