IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activity. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activity. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table aims to convey information regarding hours and minutes devoted by UK
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 multiple daily
activities
Use synonyms
. At one glance, it could be revealed that
women
Use synonyms
 pay attention more
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 self-care including sleep and rest than
men
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 would rather have leisure than
women
Use synonyms
. Totally, there was an hour difference between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 for employment and study.
Women
Use synonyms
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
 double as much time as
men
Use synonyms
 on housework and childcare.
Men
Use synonyms
 have more appetite than
women
Use synonyms
 to travel and sports.
While
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 prefer resting and relaxing, doing voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and meeting. Other
activities
Use synonyms
 are significantly equal between the two groups
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be deduced that UK males are choosing games and wasting
activities
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 recreation after outdoor duties
such
Linking Words
 as drinking or watching movies.
In contrast
Linking Words
, females are going to spirit their souls after
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
long housekeeping by socializing and meeting and cultural
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as reading.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, activities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: