IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two pictures depict
activities
Correct article usage
the activities
show examples
 of
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate students who did not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full-time
work
Use synonyms
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
after leaving college in 2008. There are four
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, which is part-time
work
Use synonyms
, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
,
furthers
Replace the word
further
show examples
 study and unemployment. When looking
into
Change preposition
at
show examples
 these pictures, you can easily notice that the highest bar in both pictures
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
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 to students who chose
furthers
Replace the word
further
show examples
 study. And the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 is students
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
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 to do voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. First of all, both
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate went to
furthers
Replace the word
further
show examples
 study
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of 29,665 and 2,725, which is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 options.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we have the second largest bar, the part-time
work
Use synonyms
. The numbers of
this
Linking Words
 choice are 17,735 and 2,535.
Next,
Linking Words
unemployment is the third biggest factor, with the
number
Use synonyms
 of 16,235 and 1,625.
And
Correct word choice
Last
show examples
last
Linking Words
 but not least,
voluntary
Correct article usage
the voluntary
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 factor is the smallest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and post
Use synonyms
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
, with 3,500 and 345 people.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, work, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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