The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts give information on the percentage of

water

consumption for various reasons in 6 continents scattered over the world. Looking from an

overall

perspective, it is readily apparent that the vast majority of

water

belong

Change the verb form

belongs

show examples

to agricultural purposes in most areas, which is followed by

industial

Correct your spelling

industrial

use and

lastly

, domestic use. It can be seen that over 70% to 88% of aquatic uses is distributed to

argicultural

Correct your spelling

agricultural

purposes in South America, Africa, Central

Asia

and South East

Asia

. Given only 7% to 9%, domestic uses are settled as the 2nd rank for Africa and Central

Asia

In contrast

, South East

Asia

second biggest

Add a hyphen

second-biggest

show examples

consumption falls to

industrial

Correct article usage

the industrial

show examples

aspect, dominating 12%.

Conversely

, for 48% and 53%

Change preposition

show examples

industrial

usages

Fix the agreement mistake

usage

show examples

, North America and Europe respectively rank as champion and 1st runner-up for the immense

water

consumption.

Additionally

, both areas share

argricultural

Correct your spelling

an agricultural

aspect as the second majority of

water

usage, with 39% and 32% uses.

Lastly

, with

solely

Correct your spelling

only

show examples

13 to 15%, both continents spend the least

water

allocation on domestic contexts.

Submitted by lokyiu612 on Mon Mar 04 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

water consumption
agricultural, industrial, domestic
usage patterns
developed vs developing regions
irrigation systems
climate factors
percentage breakdown
water management
sustainability
residential water use
efficiency
charts comparison
water-intensive
water scarcity
resource allocation
desalination

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