IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts give information on the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption for various reasons in 6 continents scattered over the world. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the vast majority of
water
Use synonyms
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
 to agricultural purposes in most areas, which is followed by
industial
Correct your spelling
industrial
 use and
lastly
Linking Words
, domestic use. It can be seen that over 70% to 88% of aquatic uses is distributed to
argicultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 purposes in South America, Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
. Given only 7% to 9%, domestic uses are settled as the 2nd rank for Africa and Central
Asia
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
's
second biggest
Add a hyphen
second-biggest
show examples
 consumption falls to
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 aspect, dominating 12%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, for 48% and 53%
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 industrial
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
, North America and Europe respectively rank as champion and 1st runner-up for the immense
water
Use synonyms
 consumption.
Additionally
Linking Words
, both areas share
argricultural
Correct your spelling
an agricultural
 aspect as the second majority of
water
Use synonyms
 usage, with 39% and 32% uses.
Lastly
Linking Words
, with
solely
Correct your spelling
only
show examples
 13 to 15%, both continents spend the least
water
Use synonyms
 allocation on domestic contexts.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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