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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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First for
graduates
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 the most relevant is
Further
Linking Words
 study
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are 29.665
people
Use synonyms
 in front of the
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 has the same behaviour with 2.725
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
, the second one more relevant in both charts is the part-time
work
Use synonyms
 for
graduates
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 with 17.735
people
Use synonyms
 and for
postgraduates
Use synonyms
studens
Correct your spelling
students
 are 2.535
people
Use synonyms
, the third relevant is unemployment for both charts for
graduates
Use synonyms
 with 16.235 and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 are 1.625
people
Use synonyms
 and the
last
Linking Words
 is voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 for
graduates
Use synonyms
 are 3.500 and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 are 345
people
Use synonyms
. Those charts have the same behaviour in each kind of
work
Use synonyms
, in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2008
students
Use synonyms
 were very
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more knowledge, and
also
Linking Words
 the
cuantity
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 that have "part-time
work
Use synonyms
" and "
further
Linking Words
 study" is close. That analysis can't be done for
Use synonyms
graduates
Change the noun form
graduate
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 where the number of
students
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 really
diferrent
Correct your spelling
different
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 is important to mention that in
postgraduate
Add an article
the postgraduate
a postgraduate
show examples
 chart the data is really small
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
Use synonyms
graduates
Change the noun form
graduate
show examples
 
students
Use synonyms
 chart.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, students, people, postgraduates, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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