IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
First for
graduates
students
 the most relevant is
Further
 study
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are 29.665
people
 in front of the
postgraduates
 has the same behaviour with 2.725
people
then
, the second one more relevant in both charts is the part-time
work
 for
graduates
students
 with 17.735
people
 and for
postgraduates
studens
Correct your spelling
students
 are 2.535
people
, the third relevant is unemployment for both charts for
graduates
 with 16.235 and
postgraduates
 are 1.625
people
 and the
last
 is voluntary
work
 for
graduates
 are 3.500 and
postgraduates
 are 345
people
. Those charts have the same behaviour in each kind of
work
, in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2008
students
 were very
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more knowledge, and
also
 the
cuantity
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
people
 in postgraduate
students
 that have "part-time
work
" and "
further
 study" is close. That analysis can't be done for
graduates
Change the noun form
graduate
show examples
students
 where the number of
students
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 really
diferrent
Correct your spelling
different
.
To conclude
 is important to mention that in
postgraduate
Add an article
the postgraduate
a postgraduate
show examples
 chart the data is really small
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
graduates
Change the noun form
graduate
show examples
 
students
 chart.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, students, people, postgraduates, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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