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Band 5.5

You recently spent the night at an expensive hotel. There was a problem with your room, but the hotel staff was unable to do anything about it. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter • describe the problem. • explain what happened when you asked the hotel staff for help. • say what you would like the manager to do.

#night #hotel #room #staff #manager
dear manager
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am writing a letter to inform you about my
last
week
Change noun form
week's
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 booking on 9th
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
. I booked your
hotel
 for
ah
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 night time and the booking time was 9:00 p.m to 9:00 a.m . The
room
 number was 101 fully a.c but unfortunately a.c is not working
moreover
 i have a problem with your staff. The condition of the
room
 was very bad and onbody cleaned that
room
 before me so that why their so bad smelll was coming from the bedsheets . On internet your
hotel
 got 5 star ratings but
this
 was not with with that review.
moreover
, i speak with your staff about
room
 condition but they refused to change my
room
 because already all rooms were full when ask them to refund my money they just ignored me so
this
 not a good behavior with customer. i am hoping form you to tak action on your staff and make sure
after
this
 nobody get bad service from your
hotel
 because before i vist my times your
hotel
 but never heppend like that and i want my refunds
also
 because 500 dollars is not worth it for that . your faithfully lovepreet
Submitted by lovepreetsainimohitsaini on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider organizing the letter into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point (description of the problem, interaction with staff, requested actions). This will make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Including a proper greeting and closing in your letter can make it more formal and appropriate for the context. Consider using 'Dear [Manager's Name],' at the beginning and 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name, at the end.
coherence cohesion
Dedicate a single paragraph to each major idea to improve clarity and readability. Start with the issue, then describe your interaction with the hotel staff, and conclude with your requested resolution.
task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that your letter fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You've mentioned the problem, staff interaction, and desired outcome, but elaborating them with more details and clarity will strengthen your response. Also, establish a more formal tone appropriate for communication with a hotel manager.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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