Many employees may work at home with mother and technology. Some people claim that it benefits only workers but not employers. Do you agree or disagree?

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Technology
is used now in many fields, and it makes many employees work at home by using it.
Whilts
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Whilst
, some people say that it can only bring
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
for
workers
but not for employers. I personally believe that
Technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people for doing
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
and simplifying
taks
Correct your spelling
tasks
.
Hence
I think it can be used in every field including for
employeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
.
Initially
,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
at home is
an evidence
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
show examples
that the advance of
technology
has been proven
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
everything
esier
Correct your spelling
easier
. Many people take advantage of their presence by working at home and some of that
technology
can take over human's jobs and it is not only for
workers
but
also
employers.
For example
, many
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
robots for replaying
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
messages, and some of them are used to direct calls to
custiomer
Correct your spelling
customer
service.
Therefore
,
this
is very
usefull
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useful
to improve their service. In terms of
workers
, many
automations
Correct your spelling
automation
are used in offices from cleaning
service
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services
show examples
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
in
vactories
Correct your spelling
victories
factories
. many
vactories
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victories
factories
are helped with the significant improvements that
has
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have
show examples
been met by the
automations
Correct your spelling
automation
.
Additionally
, when it is used to produce products, it can be 2 times faster than what
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
do.
For example
, In bakeries, the
coorporations
Correct your spelling
corporations
have implemented automation to bake bread from
proccessing
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processing
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
packaging. As a
resut
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result
, it can bake many
breads
Change the wording
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
show examples
, more
higyne
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hygiene
, and less injury. To recapitulate, the use of
technology
advantages many fields including
woorkers
Correct your spelling
workers
and employers. For
enterpreneur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
entrepreneurs
, they
implements
Change the verb form
implement
show examples
it to answer messages and for
workers
Add a comma
workers,
show examples
they can take over their tasks and simplify it.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should provide a brief overview of your argument, while your conclusion should summarize your key points.
coherence
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Try to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure each sentence logically follows from the previous one to improve coherence.
support
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
grammar and spelling
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider using spell check tools or asking someone to proofread your work.
task response
Address the task directly and make sure your argument is clear. Your essay should directly answer the question asked, with a clear opinion or thesis stated in the introduction and supported throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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