IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: • Say how well you know your friend • describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has • explain why your friend would be suitable for this job

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #manager #friend #qualifications
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Dear
sir
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Sir
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 or
madam
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Madam
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, I am writing
this
 letter to request
for
Change preposition
apply
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a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer for my best friend. Let me tell you about my best friend who
want
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wants
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 to work at a summer school camp.
Firstly
 he is a sportsman and tell
man
Correct your spelling
tellman
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 he was a guard at a company, but he
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not want to work to be a guard. Because
his
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he
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 think that job very boring and stressfully. So
i
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I
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 want to help him.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 he was a
chempion
Correct your spelling
champion
 at boxing in the
last
 year. But
neverthless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
 he can
sociable
Add a missing verb
be sociable
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 with young children.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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 he studied at
a
Correct article usage
the
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Cembridge
Correct your spelling
Cambridge
university
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University
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 of
Amerika
Correct your spelling
America
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. So many companies offer to him. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
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conclution,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 hope you will employ John
to
Change preposition
at
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 a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Yours faithfully, Alan Gordon
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Task Achievement
The letter should directly address the task of recommending a friend for a specific job at the summer school, including how well you know the person, their qualifications and experience, and why they're suitable. Your letter missed providing structured information about these aspects.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your points clearly throughout the letter. Start with an introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for each of the required points (how well you know your friend, their qualifications and experience, and why they're suitable for the job), and then a conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to use correct and varied sentence structures, and pay attention to spelling and grammar to improve comprehension and presentation of ideas.
Task Achievement
Utilize a more formal and suitable writing tone for the context of a job application recommendation letter. Avoid using casual language and focus on a professional and respectful tone throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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