The table presents how much people from five employment sectors earned, in three different salary levels in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table below illustrates the data about how much money

made

Add a missing verb

was made

show examples

from different kinds of fields,namely,

finance

,transportation,construction,manufacturing and hospitality in 2009 measured in pounds in 2009.

Overall

,what stands out from the chart is that most of the money was earned from

finance

whereas

the least was from hospitality. Looking into detail,

maximum

Add an article

the maximum

show examples

salary

for

finance

was 8850 pounds,

while

the minimum was just 1600 pounds.Next,

maximum

Add an article

the maximum

a maximum

show examples

salary

Change preposition

for

show examples

transportation accounted for 4580 and with

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

difference minimum

salary

made up 843.

Utmost

Correct word choice

The highest

show examples

salary

for both construction and manufacturing was nearly the same,with 3100 and 3500 and with a slight difference 790 and 930 for minimum

salary

respectively. With regard to the average salaries,construction and hospitality constituted 1945 and 1895 respectively,whilst

finance

,again,ranked first with 5225.Ultimately,

mean

Correct article usage

the mean

show examples

salary

for transportation accounted for 2712,

whereas

that of manufacturing was 2215.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words finance, salary with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

129 words

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The table presents how much people from five employment sectors earned, in three different salary levels in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In today fast-paced world, many individuals struggle with delaying or postponing tasks.

Nowadays some professionals such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products shall be made more expensive to encourage people to cunsume less sugar Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.) and, therefore, there is no reason to try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?