The table presents how much people from five employment sectors earned, in three different salary levels in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#people #five #employment #sectors #three #salary #levels #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The table below illustrates the data about how much money

made

Add a missing verb

was made

show examples

from different kinds of fields,namely,

finance

,transportation,construction,manufacturing and hospitality in 2009 measured in pounds in 2009.

Overall

,what stands out from the chart is that most of the money was earned from

finance

whereas

the least was from hospitality. Looking into detail,

maximum

Add an article

the maximum

show examples

salary

for

finance

was 8850 pounds,

while

the minimum was just 1600 pounds.Next,

maximum

Add an article

the maximum

a maximum

show examples

salary

Change preposition

for

show examples

transportation accounted for 4580 and with

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

difference minimum

salary

made up 843.

Utmost

Correct word choice

The highest

show examples

salary

for both construction and manufacturing was nearly the same,with 3100 and 3500 and with a slight difference 790 and 930 for minimum

salary

respectively. With regard to the average salaries,construction and hospitality constituted 1945 and 1895 respectively,whilst

finance

,again,ranked first with 5225.Ultimately,

mean

Correct article usage

the mean

show examples

salary

for transportation accounted for 2712,

whereas

that of manufacturing was 2215.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words finance, salary with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

129 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The table presents how much people from five employment sectors earned, in three different salary levels in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Study needs time, peace and comfort, whereas employment needs the same thing. Someone says it is impossible to combine those two because one distracts one another. Do you think this is realistic in our life today?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Some people think that schools should reward students with best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.