The most important factor in job satisfaction is salary To What extend do you agree or disagree?
Having a
job
with a
good pay plays a role Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
in
job
satisfaction. Nevertheless
is not the most important element. I am totally disagree
and in Change the verb form
totally disagree
this
essay
I will explore various dimensions of the issue and provide Add a comma
essay,
analysis
of the extent.
First of Correct article usage
an analysis
all
we build our Add a comma
all,
life
based on happiness unfortunately happiness can not buy. But thanks to science that
we have knowledge about which hormones help us to be happy called dopamine. Our frontal brain Correct word choice
apply
generate
Change the verb form
generates
this
hormone based on our life style
and Correct your spelling
lifestyle
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
such
as a reward. That’s why our adrenaline and being well situation are higher after do
sports, Change the verb form
doing
exercise
. Even though we have a good Correct word choice
and exercise
salary
but not
content Add a missing verb
are not
about
our Change preposition
with
job
it will effect
us negatively. Correct your spelling
affect
For
example
I was working Add a comma
example,
an
expat in China with a good employee package but I quit my Change preposition
as an
job
because of not satisfied about
what I Change preposition
with
were
doing in Change the verb form
was
company
. Add an article
the company
Hence
, if people are not happy regarding their occupation in work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
salary
will not help them to be satisfied.
Another reason why I disagree that
personal improvement is very important in our Add a missing verb
is that
life
. Imagine you are doing Correct article usage
a descent
descent
routine Correct your spelling
decent
job
everyday
and can not build new skills Replace the word
every day
enhance
your vision, beyond the advancement of new technologies Fix the infinitive
to enhance
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
at the end
of the month get
a nice payment from the company employee will stuck that Wrong verb form
getting
job
and salary
will not help for further
life
development. People who works
in Change the verb form
work
factory
and just Add an article
a factory
checking
Wrong verb form
check
same
part quality over and over Correct article usage
the same
I do not
feel that they can continue like Verb problem
cannot
this
until get retire.
In Conclusion
I will argue that personal satisfaction being Add a comma
Conclusion,
a
well and loving what you are doing in Change the article
apply
company
are much more important than the Add an article
the company
a company
salary
. Salary
is not the most important part in
our Change preposition
of
job
.Submitted by askinfirataskin on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear, logical structure. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be distinct and lead smoothly into each other.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve flow and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully and make your position clear throughout the essay. It seems your disagreement with the statement is made clear. Keep reinforcing your stance with examples and reasoning in all parts of your essay
task achievement
Develop your examples more fully to better support your main points. Include specific details and explain how these examples support your argument to enhance your task achievement score.