IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You have seen an advertisement for part time job at a restaurant and want to apply for it. Write a letter to the manager. In you letter -describe you experience -tell him why you are interested in the job -say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#advertisement #part #time #job #restaurant #manager #-describe #-tell #-say
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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to you to explain the letter that, I am going to
work
Use synonyms
 in your restaurant
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 l need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money. I think
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 to brief introduction and expressing interest in the
job
Use synonyms
. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I am
intresting
Correct your spelling
interested
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
. Discussing personal reasons for interest in
this
Linking Words
 specific
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 at the restaurant possibly mentioning a passion for the
cullnary
Correct your spelling
culinary
 arts, or a
desive
Correct your spelling
desire
decisive
 to gain more experience in the hospitality industry.The main reason that my father had worked. I
reckan
Correct your spelling
reckon
 that I am
suitablity
Correct your spelling
suitability
suitable
 for the
job
Use synonyms
higlighling
Correct your spelling
highlighting
 personal
attvibutes
Correct your spelling
attributes
such
Linking Words
 as
reliabilty
Correct your spelling
reliability
,
abilty
Correct your spelling
ability
 to
work
Use synonyms
 under pressure excellent customer service skills and
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 in working hours that make the applicant A good fit for the role. I would be happy to
work
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
.I was the one who took my
father is
Correct your spelling
father's
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 and now needed the same money. I hope you understand me correctly Yours faithfully, Sadinova Feruza
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on structuring your letter more effectively by organizing it into clear paragraphs: an opening statement, a paragraph on your experience, another on your interest in the job, followed by one explaining your suitability, and a polite closing. This will improve the letter's logical structure and coherence.
Task Achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the prompt. For each aspect (experience, interest, suitability), dedicate a paragraph and expand on your points with specific details. For example, describe your relevant experience in detail, explain what specifically interests you in the job, and highlight relevant skills or qualities that make you suitable.
General
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to make your letter easier to read and more professional. This includes using the correct form of words ('because' instead of 'becouse'), and correctly spacing after punctuation.
General
Consider using a more suitable tone through your choice of words and sentences. Aim for a professional yet friendly tone, avoiding overly casual language. Additionally, ensure you use formal letter conventions like addressing the hiring manager directly, if possible, and signing off appropriately.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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