The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The charts demonstrate the proportion of
time
consumed by workers on various activities in one country between 1958 and 2008.
Overall
,
according
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pie charts in both years , show
a
Change the article
the
show examples
largest percentage
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relaxing hours at home and working hours.
In contrast
,
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
level
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
sleeping and spending
time
with family or friends. Regarding the pie charts in 1958 and 2008, the work represents the highest percentage (33% and 42%) , respectively .
This
is followed by sleeping forms ( 32% and 25%).
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
time
spent with family or friends demonstrated 19% in 1958 compared to 2008 was dramatically decreased to only 6%.
Similarly
, the
time
of chill at home in 1958 was 8%
whereas
in 2008 rose sharply to 13%.
Moreover
,
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
on other activities
such
as travel to work slightly
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
from 2% in 1958 to 8% in 2008.
In addition
, the playing sports was no significant change between 1958 and 2008.
Submitted by jumanh114 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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