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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors ina particular country from 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors ina particular country from 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentage #age #groups #cinema #visitors #ina #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of
movie goers
Correct your spelling
moviegoers
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 among four
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
ina
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in a
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 particular nation. A cursory glance at the graph is enough to make it clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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14 to
24 year olds
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24-year-olds
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 were the
most fond
Change the adjective
fondest
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 of
cinema
Use synonyms
 throughout the given period of three decades beginning
1978
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in 1978
show examples
. From 1978 to 1988, the percentage of
cinema
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attenders
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attendees
show examples
 fell from 90, 80, 60 and 40 to 75, 60, 40,
ans
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and
 20, among the 14-24, 25-34, 35-49 and the 50+
age
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groups
Use synonyms
repectively
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respectively
. The next decade saw an increase in the percentage of
cinema
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attendence
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attendance
 in all
age
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groups
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the next five years after that saw stability in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance in all
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the next five years after that saw stability in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance in all
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
. From 2003 to 2008, the popularity of
cinema
Use synonyms
 decreased in all
age
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groups
Use synonyms
 except for the over 50s, who started going to the
cinema
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 in more numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 was more popular among the younger
age
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groups
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 and the trends were almost similar throughout, except for the 50 plus
age
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 group, after 2003, when their percentage of
cinema
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 attendance increased,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of all other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 decreased.
Submitted by heoeunsae on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stability" was used 2 times.
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