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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the amount of time that people in two age group speny on different activities in the US. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of time that people in two age group speny on different activities in the US. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #time #people #two #age #group #speny #activities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
 below gives information about the time
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent by people on some different
activities
Use synonyms
 in two age groups
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the US.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there were two trends in six types of
activities
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 watching TV, reading and relaxing/thinking were done more in
ages
Use synonyms
 75 and over, in
ages
Use synonyms
 15-19, the opposite pattern
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 and they usually
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
activities
Correct word choice
same activities
show examples
remain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, watching TV, reading and relaxing/thinking, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
ages
Use synonyms
 75 and over in watching TV was 4.5 hours per day, which
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
half
Change preposition
than half
show examples
 than
ages
Use synonyms
 15-19 at 25 in the US.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar pattern was
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
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 in reading and
realing
Correct your spelling
reading
realising
/ thinking when a day of
ages
Use synonyms
 75 and over
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 2
activities
Use synonyms
 with 1
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
show examples
 and 30 minutes respectively,
while
Linking Words
inn
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
ages
Use synonyms
 15-19 was fewer
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 1 hour.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 was happened in three daily
activities
Use synonyms
. In socializing/communicating, the hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per day of
ages
Use synonyms
 15-19 just was slightly more than
ages
Use synonyms
 75 and over, both playing games/ computer use for leisure and sports/exercise and
reaceation
Correct your spelling
recreation
reaction
 in
ages
Use synonyms
 15-19 were more than double remaining
ages
Use synonyms
 75 and over.
Submitted by hoangminhnhat150206 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, ages with synonyms.
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