IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The given chart shows the rate of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 aged between 60 -64 in employment in
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and in 2000.
overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 worked many
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1970 compared to 2000 but compared to
men
Use synonyms
, working
women
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 is lower than
men
Use synonyms
 in
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 in both years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In these
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
,
men
Use synonyms
 had worked high
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1970. In Australia 74% of
men
Use synonyms
 worked in 1970 compared to 2000 it reduced to 47%, in Japan 84% in 1970 to 76% in 2000, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 73% in 1970 to 55% in 2000 and in Belgium 79% in 1970 to 19% in 2000.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in these
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 compared to
men
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 had a small
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people working aged 60-64. In Australia 18% of
women
Use synonyms
 worked in 1970 compared to 2000 it increased to 19%, in Japan 43% in 1970 to 40% in 2000 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 36% in 1970 to 38% in 2000 and in Belgium 8% in 1970 to 7% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, four, countries, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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