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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The given chart shows the rate of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 aged between 60 -64 in employment in
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and in 2000.
overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 worked many
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1970 compared to 2000 but compared to
men
Use synonyms
, working
women
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 is lower than
men
Use synonyms
 in
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 in both years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In these
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
,
men
Use synonyms
 had worked high
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1970. In Australia 74% of
men
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 worked in 1970 compared to 2000 it reduced to 47%, in Japan 84% in 1970 to 76% in 2000, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 73% in 1970 to 55% in 2000 and in Belgium 79% in 1970 to 19% in 2000.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in these
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 compared to
men
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 had a small
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people working aged 60-64. In Australia 18% of
women
Use synonyms
 worked in 1970 compared to 2000 it increased to 19%, in Japan 43% in 1970 to 40% in 2000 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 36% in 1970 to 38% in 2000 and in Belgium 8% in 1970 to 7% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, four, countries, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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