The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.

The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.
The bar charts above present the number of
females
and
males
and
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-24, 35-44 and 45+
age
groups who watched
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and
game
shows in Australia. The horizontal axes show the different
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
and
females
and
males
yet the vertical axes illustrate the sum of
people
.
Overall
, there were more
females
than
males
watching reality shows
whereas
more
males
watched
game
shows than
females
.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
people
watching both
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
and reality shows were from the
age
group
45+ with 140
people
.
On the other hand
,
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-34
age
group
had the least persons watching
game
shows with nearly 40
people
. Almost 40
males
and well over 60
people
in the
age
group
of 34-44
years
old spend their time viewing reality shows. The total of
people
in 25-34 and 35-44 watching
game
programs was almost equal. 50
people
from 16-24
years
viewed
game
shows. 45+
years
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
watching
game
shows were double that of 35-44 and 25-34
years
. 16-24 and 25-34 who watched
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
shows were more than
males
.
Submitted by dubeallen10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males, age, game, group, people, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 10 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: