Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employees find no benefit doing so. Discuss both views.
Some employers have provided
to
their Change preposition
apply
employees
a free membership
to get into gyms
and sport
clubs, under the idea that Change the noun form
sports
this
will make their emplyees
much Correct your spelling
employees
healtier
and more effective at Correct your spelling
healthier
work
. Other employees
have found no positive effects on doing this
. While
some employees
have not found any benefit for employees
offering membership
for gyms
, I believe companies that offer a membership
card for gyms
will have a healtier
staff and Correct your spelling
healthier
emnployees
will be much more effective at Correct your spelling
employees
work
.
On the one hand, some company's
owners found no positive effects on providing Change noun form
company
membership
for gyms
because they
Correct pronoun usage
their
employees
might not use it, so this
will be a waste of money. Firstly
, many workers
have two jobs during the day, and it would be very hard for them thinking
about going to the gym. Change the verb form
to think
Also
, the vast majority of workers
are not interested on
working out Change the preposition
in
on
their spare time because they Change preposition
in
found
it very challenging. Wrong verb form
find
For instance
, many factories in California have huge gyms
and they have hundreds and hundreds of machines that no body
Correct your spelling
nobody
are
interested Correct subject-verb agreement
is
to use
, so these rooms are usually a waste of money. Change preposition
in using
However
, I believe that gyms
are crucial to educate employees
to teach them the importance of doing some exercise
during the day.
Ont he
other hand, Correct your spelling
On the
big
portion of Add an article
a big
the
society Correct article usage
apply
believe
that Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
gyms
need to be part of their jobs for healty
reasons. Correct your spelling
healthy
health
To begin
with, many companies have offer
to their Change the verb form
offered
employees
getting paid for doing some exercise
during the break time, so this
will improve their employees
' health. More importantly, if people start doing some type of physical exercise
, they will be much more effective at work
, so productivity might be positive impact
by Replace the word
positively impacted
this
. There is a believe
that people who Replace the word
belief
work
out tend to have much
productive ideas at Change the quantifier
many
work
. To illustrate this
, several researches
state that people who do some type of physical Correct your spelling
researchers
exercise
tend to be smater
than the rest of society. I believeCorrect your spelling
smarter
smaller
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
is a much better way of supporting employees
who want to have a much productive
day for their Correct quantifier usage
more productive
work
.
To conclude
, eventhough
some employers refuse to support Correct your spelling
even though
gyms
for their workers
because thy
might not use them, I strongly believe, it is preferable to promote physical Correct your spelling
they
exercise
for workers
to increase better thinking and effective work
.Submitted by cuevas14dic on
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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, which will make your argument easier to follow.
Content
Provide clear examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments.
Style
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a range of vocabulary to make your essay more interesting and engaging.
Introduction
You have a strong introduction that clearly presents the topic and your view.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your views and restates your position.
Opinion & Discussion
You have successfully discussed both views and provided a clear opinion, which is great for task achievement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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