IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
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It is factual that income plays
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 part in
selection
Correct article usage
the selection
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
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job
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 agree that
this
Linking Words
 may fit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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many individuals,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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I believe there are many
people
Use synonyms
 choosing career baes on other proposes. There are several reasons for considering
salary
Use synonyms
 as the most significant factor. A high income
a assurances
Correct the article-noun agreement
assurances
an assurance
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 a high standard performance of life in which
people
Use synonyms
 can afford to cover their demand expenses
such
Linking Words
 as holidays trips or even
a
Correct article usage
apply
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brand new accessories.
Besides
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 could set
salary
Use synonyms
 as a measure of their employed volume as same as their position in the institution. The higher
Use synonyms
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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 workers get, the more valuable they are in the company.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not only the range of money itself, which reputation makes value to business.
However
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are considering some other conditions to make before finding a
job
Use synonyms
. Many
job
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 seekers
are preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 a
suit
Correct your spelling
suitable
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 environment as
priority
Add an article
a priority
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, especially ones
adore
Correct pronoun usage
who adore
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 freedom and outdoor activities. In reality, they cannot hold
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
the job
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 that requires hours sitting on
disk
Correct article usage
a disk
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 and stay at least 7 hours facing
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 as a bank officer even
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
if this
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 may offer
better
Add an article
a better
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salary
Use synonyms
 in the
job
Use synonyms
 market.
In addition
Linking Words
,
numerus
Correct your spelling
numerous
 of
people
Use synonyms
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in select
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
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, many friends of mine love to work in rural areas
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 in a big company in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them
assisting
Change the verb form
to assist
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,
improving
Change preposition
in improving
show examples
 the quality of
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
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 living.
That
Correct pronoun usage
They
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 receive a low amount of
salary
Use synonyms
 but they never complain
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their selection because they value that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the average income for local
people
Use synonyms
, In conclusion, it is definitely true that the
salary
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
significant in
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
choose
Replace the word
choice
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 of many
people
Use synonyms
, but that does not mean the key consideration for each one in making a
job
Use synonyms
 decision.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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structure
Consider starting with a clear thesis statement in your introduction to provide a strong base for your argument. This can help guide the reader through your essay and establish your stance clearly from the beginning.
coherence
Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity. Try to use a variety of sentence types and ensure that each sentence clearly conveys your intended message. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
grammar
Check for grammatical errors and typos as these can distract the reader from your main points. Regular practice and proofreading can significantly improve your writing.
content
Include more concrete examples to support your arguments. Specific examples add depth to your essay and help illustrate your points more vividly. Consider how these examples relate to the broader argument and ensure they are clearly explained.
balanced argument
You've explored both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, demonstrating a clear understanding of your essay structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
What to do next:
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