The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that

Korean

Use synonyms

females favour these procedures significantly more than

Korean

Use synonyms

males.

In addition

Linking Words

, there is a considerable difference in the types of popular operations between the genders. Regarding

Korean

Use synonyms

women, about 320,000 of them had Eyelid surgery( highest number)

while

Linking Words

only a mere about 120,000 had operated Liposuction( lowest number). Rhinoplasty at about 280,000 ranks

second,

Linking Words

followed by Laser Skin Resurfacing and Breast enlargement at just above 200,000 and around 150,000 respectively. Hair Transplantation stands at the top rank with 60,000 for

Korean

Use synonyms

males and Lasser skin resurfacing closely

following

Wrong verb form

follows

show examples

with just about 5000 lower in number. 40,000

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Korean

Use synonyms

men went through Rhinoplasty in 2004, making it the third most popular.

And

Correct word choice

Finally

show examples

finally

Linking Words

, with marginally below 20 thousand and about 18 thousand, Abdominoplasty and Liposuction are the least relatively popular operations respectively.

soroush.nezami

Apr 14, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words korean with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

137 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cosmetic procedures
males
females
Korea
2004
compare
contrast
most common
least common
significant trends
patterns
popularity
specific procedures
differences
number of procedures
data
general comparison

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
While traveling, some people prefer to visit lots of places within a short time. Others prefer to spend longer periods in one or two places. Why do people's preferences differ in this way? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each approach?
In the modern era, because of economic development, people tend to go on trips to experience various cultures. While some people want to visit diverse tourist attractions over a short time, others want to visit a few places within a long time. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages; this essay will argue the benefits of visiting many sites in a short time.
7
band
In the past, school children usually learnt by listening to their teacher and by studying their books. Nowadays, many school children learn by using technology in the classroom instead. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
It is true that school children used to learn by hearing from their teachers and with the help of books in the past. However, recently, a number of school pupils have studied by utilizing technology in the classroom. In fact, there are various merits and demerits for these changes.
7.5
band
In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
A group of individuals present the view that the rise of large shopping centres is beneficial, whereas others believe it has adverse effects, especially on local communities. I strongly agree with the latter opinion, as I believe the disadvantages, such as the erosion of local culture and environmental impact, outweigh the benefits.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Taking risks may be important in some situations. However, I disagree with this wholeheartedly, and I will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using cars?
Over three decades from now, the possession of cars has been dramatically growing, which has led to constant congestion. This viewpoint is well-supported by evidence, and I wholeheartedly concur with the assertion made that governments and automakers have historically taken full advantage of their short-term advantages, even when doing so has resulted in negative outcomes.

The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

While traveling, some people prefer to visit lots of places within a short time. Others prefer to spend longer periods in one or two places. Why do people's preferences differ in this way? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each approach?

In the past, school children usually learnt by listening to their teacher and by studying their books. Nowadays, many school children learn by using technology in the classroom instead. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using cars?