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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

#employees #contact #staff #times #holidays #development
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In
this
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 era of modernisation, numerous employers are contacting their
staff
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 at all
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 for
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work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
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 purposes and the
employes
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employees
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 are even getting calls on a day off.
This
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 trend is becoming more and more common nowadays and it has benefits
as well as
Linking Words
 drawbacks at
equivalent
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an equivalent
the equivalent
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 level.
Firstly
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, discussing the merits of
this
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 viewpoint, the first and foremost point is that, the workers who
wants
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want
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 to do
over
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overtime
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time
Use synonyms
work
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 to earn more money
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will be able to do so. To give an example , some
staff
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 members will get
call
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a call
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 on their phone for extra
work
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 and they will be paid for it by their boss.
As a result
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, they can earn more money and even get promoted if they do so.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the employers have every right to call any of their
staff
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 at any
time
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, if they have
quarey
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queries
quarry
 about some
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work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
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 tasks.
However
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,
this
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 trend has several drawbacks
also
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.
To begin
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 with, the workers only get
limited
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a limited
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 amount of holidays to enjoy their personal life, but if they get called by
th
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the
 manager they won't be able to enjoy it.
For instance
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, in
India
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India,
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 there is only one holiday Per week for all workers and if they get a call on
this
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 day
by
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from
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 their employer on account of discussing
work
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related
Correct your spelling
work-related
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 topic,
then
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 they will get
irritate
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irritated
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 can lead to
resignation
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the resignation
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 of many capable
staff
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 members and
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 company may suffer a loss
due to
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this
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.
Further
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,
this
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 can
led
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lead
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into
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to
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 power
harresment
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harassment
 cases and the
manager
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manager's
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 car even
get failed
Wrong verb form
fails
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 for it.
Therefore
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, even if there are merits of
this
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 viewpoint there are
also
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dismerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 of it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
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 level.
To sum up
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, there is an equal weightage of advantages and disadvantages of the
developrant
Correct your spelling
development
 of employe & get contacted by their employers
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any
time
Use synonyms
 and
ever
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even
show examples
 on weekends. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 development
have
Change the verb form
has
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 almost equivalent number of benefits
as well as
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 drawbacks.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main topic and supporting details are directly linked to this topic.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing to structure the essay more clearly, helping the reader follow your arguments easily.
task achievement
In developing your argument, make sure to provide specific examples that effectively support your main points.
language
Work on grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
task achievement
Expand on your conclusion by summarizing your main points and stating your position more clearly.
task achievement
You've tackled both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the essay topic well, clearly stating what you'll discuss.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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