IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

#employees #contact #staff #times #holidays #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 era of modernisation, numerous employers are contacting their
staff
 at all
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 for
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
 purposes and the
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 are even getting calls on a day off.
This
 trend is becoming more and more common nowadays and it has benefits
as well as
 drawbacks at
equivalent
Add an article
an equivalent
the equivalent
show examples
 level.
Firstly
, discussing the merits of
this
 viewpoint, the first and foremost point is that, the workers who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to do
over
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
time
work
 to earn more money
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be able to do so. To give an example , some
staff
 members will get
call
Add an article
a call
show examples
 on their phone for extra
work
 and they will be paid for it by their boss.
As a result
, they can earn more money and even get promoted if they do so.
Furthermore
, the employers have every right to call any of their
staff
 at any
time
, if they have
quarey
Correct your spelling
queries
quarry
 about some
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
 tasks.
However
,
this
 trend has several drawbacks
also
.
To begin
 with, the workers only get
limited
Add an article
a limited
show examples
 amount of holidays to enjoy their personal life, but if they get called by
th
Correct your spelling
the
 manager they won't be able to enjoy it.
For instance
, in
India
Add a comma
India,
show examples
 there is only one holiday Per week for all workers and if they get a call on
this
 day
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their employer on account of discussing
work
related
Correct your spelling
work-related
show examples
 topic,
then
 they will get
irritate
Change the form of the verb
irritated
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
 can lead to
resignation
Add an article
the resignation
show examples
 of many capable
staff
 members and
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 company may suffer a loss
due to
this
.
Further
,
this
 can
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 power
harresment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 cases and the
manager
Change noun form
manager's
show examples
 car even
get failed
Wrong verb form
fails
show examples
 for it.
Therefore
, even if there are merits of
this
 viewpoint there are
also
dismerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 of it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 level.
To sum up
, there is an equal weightage of advantages and disadvantages of the
developrant
Correct your spelling
development
 of employe & get contacted by their employers
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any
time
 and
ever
Correct your spelling
even
show examples
 on weekends. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
,
this
 development
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 almost equivalent number of benefits
as well as
 drawbacks.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main topic and supporting details are directly linked to this topic.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing to structure the essay more clearly, helping the reader follow your arguments easily.
task achievement
In developing your argument, make sure to provide specific examples that effectively support your main points.
language
Work on grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
task achievement
Expand on your conclusion by summarizing your main points and stating your position more clearly.
task achievement
You've tackled both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the essay topic well, clearly stating what you'll discuss.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: