IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

you recently visited a famous mobile showroom and you are not happy about the service you received from the company and you have decided to complain about it. Write an email to the company in 150- 200 words to complain about the poor service you received from its employee. In your email, express: • why you went to the shop/office • how the employees behaved to offend you • what you expect the company to do

#showroom #service #company #email #employee #shop #office #employees
Dear
Store
 Manager, I hope
this
 email finds you well. My name
Lisa
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is Lisa
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 Akter, a loyal customer at your
store
, located
Dufferin
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at Dufferin
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 Mall,
store
 no 12.
Unfortunately
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Unfortunately,
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 I must bring to your attention a rather unpleasant
expericed
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experience
experienced
 that I encountered
duing
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during
 my recent visit.
To begin
 with, I have visited the
store
 on 22nd April. I wanted to purchase
a
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an
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iphone
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iPhone
phone
 for my mother and asked one of
you
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your
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staffs
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staff
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 about the features of a particular phone. At
first,
he said to give him
few
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a few
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 minutes and
then
 did not back to me with information. In the meantime, he
was
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apply
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started to talk with another customer who just entered
into
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apply
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the
store
, it
seems
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seemed
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 that they
know
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knew
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 each other. He did not keep me waiting only but
also
 rudely behaved with me. I
was waiting
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waited
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 for more than 30 minutes
that
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for
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 another staff
come
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came
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 to serve me I did not expect
this
 kind of
behavior
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behaviour
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 from your employee and it is
also
detriemental
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detrimental
for
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to
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 the
store
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store's
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 reputation. Given the inconvenience and
disappintment
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disappointment
, I would kindly request you to consider a 10% discount as a gesture of goodwill. I look forward to your swift response and resolution. Sincerely, Lisa
Submitted by Lisa Bhuiyan on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to use clear paragraphing and a range of cohesive devices to make your points flow more smoothly.
task achievement
In addressing the task, ensure that you elaborate more on how the situation affected you personally and what specific actions you expect the company to take beyond the request for a discount.
overall
Proofread your email for any grammatical errors or typos to improve clarity and professionalism.
context
Your email effectively establishes the context of your visit and the reason for your complaint.
resolution request
You have clearly stated your expectations for resolution, which is a strong point in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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