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Band 5.5

Writing Task 1 (From Cambridge IELTS Book 4, test 3) You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Writing Task 1 (From Cambridge IELTS Book 4, test 3) You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The bar graph illustrates the percentage of
males
Use synonyms
 and females who achieved various post-school qualifications in Australia in 1999.
overall
Linking Words
, It is evident that Australian men held the higher share in 3 of those degrees, Women, meanwhile, stood first in 2 other qualifications. Looking at the details, with
Correct article usage
an oustanding
show examples
oustanding
Correct your spelling
outstanding
 90% and a mere 10%, Australian men outnumbered their female counterparts in the Skilled vocational Diploma.
Similarly
Linking Words
, 70% of
males
Use synonyms
 completed
Postgraduate
Correct article usage
a Postgraduate
show examples
 Diploma and
this
Linking Words
 figure stood at 30% for the other Sex.
Also
Linking Words
, Just above one-third of females and 60% of
males
Use synonyms
 got their Masters degree.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Number
Correct article usage
the Number
show examples
 of women with Undergraduate degrees approximately doubled that
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
males
Use synonyms
, with 70% and about 35%.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 terms of Bachelor's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
, The figures between genders were quite close to each other, to be specific, half of
men
Add an article
the men
show examples
 achieved
this
Linking Words
 degree and women stood at 45%.
Submitted by soroush.nezami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
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