The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar and line charts below reveal mean monthly
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
and washing out vesture
sales
in New York for the first half period of
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
in 2012.
Overall
, the trend of
tempreture
Correct your spelling
temperature
during the period was upward and the highest recorded
tempreture
Correct your spelling
temperature
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
in June,
however
,
th
Correct your spelling
the
highest number of requests for bathing
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits
show examples
was recorded in April.
It is clear that
Correct article usage
the temprature
show examples
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
temperatures
in
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
half of the year experienced an upward tendency,
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
. In
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
month the
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
was just over 30
Farenheit
Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
(F) and the experienced a minor reduction and reached exactly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30 F, in February.
Then
,
Correct article usage
the tempreture
show examples
tempreture gradiant
Correct your spelling
temperature gradient
rose and
finally
, reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 65 F in June. Revenue from
washing out
Add a hyphen
washing-out
show examples
suit
sales
saw an upward tendency from January until April and
then
the recorded amount of
sales
had a downward trend. The
washing out
Add a hyphen
washing-out
show examples
suit
sales
touched the highest amount in April just under 300 hundred
thousands dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand dollars
show examples
(HTD) and the lowest amount was recorded in June.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!