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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write an email to the financial organisation in 150- 200 words to grant you money. In your email, express: give your qualifications and work experience give details about the course • explain how this course will help you

#email #organisation #grant #money #qualifications #work #course
Dear Manager, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. My name is Lisa, an attentive 2nd year student of St Mary College.
Moreover
, I belong to a poor family,
hence
, I have to do a part-time job to bear my academic expenses. Even though,
with
Correct pronoun usage
I with
show examples
 exhausted my body after work, I always do my assignments before the deadline.
Consequently
, managed to get a CGPA of 4.00 in the first semester. Being deprived of getting a tutor, I had some difficulties understanding English and
this
 was the only barrier towards my academic success.
By contrast
, yesterday I came to know about a short-term English course
that is
 intended for students like me.
Furthermore
, I am confident that
this
 short-term course will help me to improve my proficiency in English. Unfortunately,
this
 course will cost me $2000 which is impossible for me to arrange.
While
 researching financial aid for students, I found your organization's name. After considering my economic status, it would be great if you provide me with some funds to continue my brilliant score. I am attaching my electronic transfer information and other academic documents for your reference. I look forward to hearing from you shortly. Sincerely, Lisa
Submitted by Lisa Bhuiyan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases to improve the flow between your ideas, and to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
For a stronger argument, quantify your achievements and experiences more precisely.
Introduction and Main Points
You have provided a clear introduction and expressed your qualifications and work experience effectively.
Task Response
You've effectively detailed the course and how it can assist you, which directly responds to the task's requirements.
Conclusion
The conclusion is present and wraps up your request neatly, maintaining a polite and hopeful tone.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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