IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In writing task describe the data in the two figures below that relate to banks in the UK. Figure A shows the total number of branches that the four biggest banks had open in 2014, while Figure B shows the number of branches that each of those banks closed in 2013. Write two or three paragraphs describing the information included in the two figures.

The bar graphs illustrate the data on the opening and closing branches of the four biggest banks in the UK.
Firstly
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, Figure A shows the total number of offices that were opened in 2014.
Secondly
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, Figure B,
on the contrary
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, demonstrates how many of them had been closed in 2013. So, relying on histograms, we can understand, that some banks had been more successful in both years, at that time when the second one had been nearly ruined.
For example
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, the highest level of closing departments had been registered in Bank B, showing a record number of branches going out of business.
Although
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, Bank D had been blooming all period because none of its offices had been closed. Unfortunately, their position in the business was not as good as B's.
On the other hand
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, it was not tragic, too. In general, we can say that the market situation in 2013-2014 had been developing as usual.
Finally
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, the second object managed to improve the situation.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task; your overview should clearly highlight key trends without drawing unsupported conclusions.
task achievement
Try to include more specific data from the figures to support your analysis, such as exact numbers or percentages of branches closed and opened.
coherence and cohesion
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly by structuring paragraphs around main ideas, followed by supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to better connect your sentences and ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
You provided a good general overview of the data presented in both figures, capturing the essential trends.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, aiding in its overall coherence.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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