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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the table below gives information about mangement posiotions held by women in a european country in 2006. summarise the information by selecting ard reporting the main features. and make comparsions where relevant.

the table below gives information about mangement posiotions held by women in a european country in 2006. summarise the information by selecting ard reporting the main features. and make comparsions where relevant.
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The chart illustrates the data about higher-up positions held by
female
Add an article
the female
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 population in
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 of
european
Change the capitalization
European
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 origin in the year 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
positions
Fix the agreement mistake
position
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 of manager are
on
Change preposition
at
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 the top with the role of executives following behind it and the
last
Linking Words
 one being the
positon
Correct your spelling
position
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 of
CEOs
Fix the agreement mistake
CEO
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. As we can see
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the table, the lead position is held by
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
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 role
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 scores the highest in all 4 categories
such
Linking Words
 as finance at 16,39%, manufacturing at 9%, IT
holding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
at 16,04% and hospitality being 33,14%. Following next is the executive position which has lower characteristics all across the board like 4,58% in finance, 1,98% in manufacturing, 12,82% in IT and hospitality at 19,9%. Interesting to note that
CEO
Correct article usage
the CEO
show examples
 statistic in hospitality is higher than Executives' with
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
20,6%. Speaking of which, the CEOs are at lowest in the table with 1,98% in finance, 1,21% in manufacturing and 6,58% in IT.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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