IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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As you can see the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 is
decrasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 for both
People
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in Australia and
people
Use synonyms
 born outside Australia. But the major change is that
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside Australia that the percentage of them living in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 is from 40% to less than 10%. The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
towns
Use synonyms
 is not changing much for both. Australian
people
Use synonyms
 like to live in the city more than
Use synonyms
towns
Change preposition
in towns
show examples
 or rural
areas
Use synonyms
 as you can in the growing percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by atiwat.simprasertth on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, towns, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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