The figures give information about economic growth and household expenditure across a range of categories. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The line graph and pie
chart
show economic development and
breakdown
Correct article usage
the breakdown
show examples
of household expenditure over
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
15 years.
According to
the graph, the economic graph shows economic fluctuations in about 15 years from 1995 to 2010. And the pie
chart
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
that only money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on food has seen a
decease
Correct your spelling
decrease
show examples
in exchange, other sectors
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all remain stable. Seen
thế
Correct your spelling
the
line
chart
1995
Change preposition
from 1995
show examples
to 2005 the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
develops steadily. Between 2005 and 2009 the economy tended to decline sharply. And it gradually increased again from about 2009 to 2010. The pie
chart
shows that families mainly
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
on food and housing, followed by other items, and
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
the least on clothing, entertainment and travel.Around 2005, spending on clothing, entertainment, and travel increased slightly,
while
spending on food decreased.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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coherence cohesion
Begin with an introductory sentence that clearly presents the topic and includes an overview of the main trends. For instance: 'The provided line graph and pie chart delineate the economic growth alongside the distribution of household expenditure in various categories over a 15-year period from 1995 to 2010.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in expression and coherence in the presentation of data. For instance, sentences like 'Seen thế line chart 1995 to 2005 the economic develops steadily.' could be improved to: 'The line chart indicates a steady economic development from 1995 to 2005.'
coherence cohesion
Integrate a conclusion that summarizes the key trends observed in both the line graph and the pie chart to provide a comprehensive closure to your response.
task achievement
Use comparative structures and more precise data to better highlight contrasts and comparisons between different years or categories. For example, mentioning exact percentages or figures would strengthen the analysis of household expenditure.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Addressing minor inaccuracies can significantly impact the clarity of the report.
task achievement
Provided a clear overview of economic development and household expenditure trends.
coherence cohesion
Made an attempt to compare and contrast different time periods and categories of expenditure.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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