IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The figures give information about economic growth and household expenditure across a range of categories. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The line graph and pie
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 show economic development and
breakdown
Correct article usage
the breakdown

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of household expenditure over
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun years in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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15 years.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the graph, the economic graph shows economic fluctuations in about 15 years from 1995 to 2010. And the pie
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
show
Change the verb form
shows

The verb show does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 that only money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spend. Consider changing it.

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 on food has seen a
decease
Correct your spelling
decrease

The word decease doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 in exchange, other sectors
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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all remain stable. Seen
thế
Correct your spelling
the

If you don’t want thế to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

line
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
1995
Change preposition
from 1995

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 to 2005 the
economic
Replace the word
economy

The word economic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 develops steadily. Between 2005 and 2009 the economy tended to decline sharply. And it gradually increased again from about 2009 to 2010. The pie
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 shows that families mainly
spends
Change the verb form
spend

The verb spends does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 on food and housing, followed by other items, and
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend

It seems that the verb spends does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 the least on clothing, entertainment and travel.Around 2005, spending on clothing, entertainment, and travel increased slightly,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 spending on food decreased.

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coherence cohesion
Begin with an introductory sentence that clearly presents the topic and includes an overview of the main trends. For instance: 'The provided line graph and pie chart delineate the economic growth alongside the distribution of household expenditure in various categories over a 15-year period from 1995 to 2010.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in expression and coherence in the presentation of data. For instance, sentences like 'Seen thế line chart 1995 to 2005 the economic develops steadily.' could be improved to: 'The line chart indicates a steady economic development from 1995 to 2005.'
coherence cohesion
Integrate a conclusion that summarizes the key trends observed in both the line graph and the pie chart to provide a comprehensive closure to your response.
task achievement
Use comparative structures and more precise data to better highlight contrasts and comparisons between different years or categories. For example, mentioning exact percentages or figures would strengthen the analysis of household expenditure.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Addressing minor inaccuracies can significantly impact the clarity of the report.
task achievement
Provided a clear overview of economic development and household expenditure trends.
coherence cohesion
Made an attempt to compare and contrast different time periods and categories of expenditure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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