IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate data about the usage of
water
Use synonyms
 in 6 regions, which are North
America
Use synonyms
, South
America
Use synonyms
, Europe, Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
, in precise precents.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Africa are the top 3 areas, in terms of using
water
Use synonyms
 for agriculture.
In contrast
Linking Words
, industrial and domestic use
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 popular in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three regions. As forementioned above Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 uses 84%, 88% and 81% of their
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural purposes.
Whereas
Linking Words
, industrial and domestic use takes up to 5% to 12% in those places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 consumption for other areas is different. Just above half and nearly half
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 is used for industrial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 in North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe, respectively, followed by
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South
America
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, domestic use for those regions goes between 13% and 18%.
Finally
Linking Words
, it can be seen that among those 3 countries, South
America
Use synonyms
 has the greatest proportion
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using
water
Use synonyms
 for
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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