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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A magazine wants to include contributions from its readers for an article called the book that influenced me most. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most. In your letter Describe what this book was about Explain how this book influenced you Say whether this book would be likely to influence other people Write at least 150 words. You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#magazine #contributions #readers #article #book #editor #influence #people #addresses #sir #madam
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most. I want books about education, music,
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
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,
historical
Replace the word
history
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 etc. In order that underprivileged children will learn
Change preposition
from this
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 books.
This
 book influenced
for
Change preposition
apply
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me
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Because I want to include contributions from its readers for
childs
Correct your spelling
children
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. I think
whether
Correct word choice
apply
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this
 book would be likely to influence other people. Because underprivileged children will
progess
Correct your spelling
progress
is
Correct your spelling
as
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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, So will
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 too much. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I want books for
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
 underprivileged children. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Miss Kannika Anawatchayanon
Submitted by kapokopk on

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task achievement
Your letter would benefit from a clearer explanation of the specific book that has influenced you, including its title and author
coherence and cohesion
Organize your thoughts more logically, ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus.
task achievement
Specify how the book has influenced you personally, beyond a general wish to help underprivileged children.
task achievement
Consider whether the book would influence others by discussing its universal themes or lessons, not just its effect on a specific group.
positive aspect
Your letter demonstrates a noble intention to help underprivileged children through literature.
positive aspect
You used a polite and appropriate tone for addressing the magazine editor.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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