A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
think that high
wage is Correct article usage
a high
an
essential Change the article
apply
than
Change preposition
to
job
satisfaction for every employees
, Change to a singular noun
employee
while
others argue that person
cannot Correct article usage
a person
work
in profession
which do not want Add an article
a profession
this
job
. This
essay will be discussed in
both Change preposition
from
point
of view.
On the one hand, a high Change to a plural noun
points
salary
covers personal and family needs and brings happiness than work
enjoyment. To be more specific, if people
work
in low paid
jobs, they cannot Add a hyphen
low-paid
happy
long-lasting, and Add a missing verb
be happy
this
leads to many issues for people
, such
as individuals can be stressed due to
lack of not having enough money. For example
, if humans make more capital in your
employment, they can buy whatever Correct pronoun usage
their
your
family needs and pay all of their monthly bills. Correct pronoun usage
their
Therefore
, when people
choose the type of employment, the amount of wage should be considered.
On the other hand
, although
the majority of people
prefer the high salary
job
, it is important that they are pleasure
with their career. Employees are Replace the word
pleased
boring
and Replace the word
bored
are
not Verb problem
do
enjoyment of
their Wrong verb form
enjoy
work
, despite of they have high wage
. Fix the agreement mistake
wages
In other words
, people
should work
in job
that Add an article
a job
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
benefit
both Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
own
and Correct pronoun usage
their own
community
. Correct article usage
the community
Thus
, when individuals choose to job
, they should be focused on their career.
In conclusion, although
, salary
is vital for human’s lives, also
job
satisfaction play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
Correct article usage
a significantly
significantly
role in Change the adverb
significant
future
career Correct pronoun usage
their future
of
Change preposition
apply
them
. I believe that these are important for human’s Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
life both high salary
and job
satisfaction, and people
should decide after reviewing these points.Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on
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Task Achievement
Try to clarify and develop your main points more thoroughly to enhance the comprehensiveness of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Including a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures can improve the clarity and richness of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear logical flow by using more linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to correct small grammatical and spelling errors to improve overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
Task Achievement
To bolster your arguments, incorporate more specific examples and data where possible, demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You've effectively presented both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your stance.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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