A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
think that
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
wage is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
essential
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
job
satisfaction for every
employees
Change to a singular noun
employee
show examples
,
while
others argue that
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
cannot
work
in
profession
Add an article
a profession
show examples
which do not want
this
job
.
This
essay will be discussed
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view. On the one hand, a high
salary
covers personal and family needs and brings happiness than
work
enjoyment. To be more specific, if
people
work
in
low paid
Add a hyphen
low-paid
show examples
jobs, they cannot
happy
Add a missing verb
be happy
show examples
long-lasting, and
this
leads to many issues for
people
,
such
as individuals can be stressed
due to
lack of not having enough money.
For example
, if humans make more capital in
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
employment, they can buy whatever
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
family needs and pay all of their monthly bills.
Therefore
, when
people
choose the type of employment, the amount of wage should be considered.
On the other hand
,
although
the majority of
people
prefer the high
salary
job
, it is important that they are
pleasure
Replace the word
pleased
show examples
with their career. Employees are
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
and
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
enjoyment of
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
their
work
, despite of they have high
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
.
In other words
,
people
should
work
in
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
both
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
Thus
, when individuals choose to
job
, they should be focused on their career. In conclusion,
although
,
salary
is vital for human’s lives,
also
job
satisfaction
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
Correct article usage
a significantly
show examples
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
role in
future
Correct pronoun usage
their future
show examples
career
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. I believe that these are important for human’s
work
life both high
salary
and
job
satisfaction, and
people
should decide after reviewing these points.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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Task Achievement
You've effectively presented both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your stance.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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