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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The first illustration shows total global
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption,
while
Linking Words
 the second one depicts the total world
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation from the
last
Linking Words
 year. As a whole, the data from both of these pie charts are quite similar,
Also
Linking Words
, it is worth mentioning that only oil and gas are considered as fossil fuels, other sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 from the pie charts are not. Total world
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption of oil is the largest it made up 34.3% of the chart,
although
Linking Words
 oil generated fairly
small
Correct word choice
little
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 at 6.7% of all the generated
electricity
Use synonyms
. 40% of generated
electricity
Use synonyms
 was from coal,
however
Linking Words
, only a quarter of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption was from coal. Combustible renewables and waste didn't generate any
electricity
Use synonyms
 at all,
although
Linking Words
 it did consume 10.6% of all
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed. The amount of consumed and generated gas was quite similar, both of them were approximately 20%. Hydro and nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed quite little amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 2.2% and 6.5%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, it generated way more
energy
Use synonyms
, hydro produced 16.1% of all the generated
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear produced 15.7% of all the produced
energy
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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