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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the price of banana in Japan, France, Germany, and the USA from 1994 to 2004.

The line graph shows the price of banana in Japan, France, Germany, and the USA from 1994 to 2004.
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As can be
seen
Add a comma
seen,
show examples
 the line graph shows the different countries as Japan , France , Germany and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 . It can be seen the difference between 1994 to 2004 , for
Banana
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 kilograms .
Overall
Linking Words
, in Japan,
Banana
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 increased sharply from
Banana
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in 1995 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , after 6 years the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 had declined substantially
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per 1.5 kilograms .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , In France ,
Banana
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 had an alternative slowly and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached a peak in 2004 .
Thirdly
Linking Words
 , Germany saw a decrease of 1.50 per kilogram .
Finally
Linking Words
, In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
Bananas
Use synonyms
 had remained stable at the same level of 1.00 .
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 line graph
given
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 a
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 period in the countries
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
kilograms's
Change preposition
kilograms of
show examples
bananas
Use synonyms
 were not changed only in Japan has a lot of change
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the level of
Use synonyms
Bananas
Fix the agreement mistake
banana
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
 .

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words banana, prices, bananas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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