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Writing Samples
Band 3

The two tables represent the number of exchange students from universities in 5 different countries in Europe: France, Sweden, United Kingdom, Germany, and Netherland, to Australia between 2007 and 2009. Overall, it can be clearly observed that although German student have the fewest number of students in 2007, whereas that of in 2009 become the greatest. To begin with, in 2007, French university student ranked the highest number among other four countries at 61 peoples, followed by Dutch and Swedish students at 36, and 34 respectively. In 2009, at 62 peoples German students was the greatest number that travel to Australia, followed by French and Swedish student at 60 peoples and 42 peoples, respectively. In regards with, Australian students exchange in Europe, at 37 peoples was the highest number of students travel in France in 2007, whereas the number of university students from Australia exchange in France skyrocketed at 58 peoples in 2009. It interesting to note that Australian students travel to Germany and Netherland the least in 2007 and 2009 respectively at 18 peoples in both years.

The two tables represent the number of exchange students from universities in 5 different countries in Europe: France, Sweden, United Kingdom, Germany, and Netherland, to Australia between 2007 and 2009. Overall, it can be clearly observed that although German student have the fewest number of students in 2007, whereas that of in 2009 become the greatest. To begin with, in 2007, French university student ranked the highest number among other four countries at 61 peoples, followed by Dutch and Swedish students at 36, and 34 respectively. In 2009, at 62 peoples German students was the greatest number that travel to Australia, followed by French and Swedish student at 60 peoples and 42 peoples, respectively. In regards with, Australian students exchange in Europe, at 37 peoples was the highest number of students travel in France in 2007, whereas the number of university students from Australia exchange in France skyrocketed at 58 peoples in 2009. It interesting to note that Australian students travel to Germany and Netherland the least in 2007 and 2009 respectively at 18 peoples in both years.
While
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 many believe that the spread of
English
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 as a global
language
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 will benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society than its disadvantage, others argue that considering one particular
language
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 as
universal
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a universal
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language
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 can promote
the
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apply
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supremacy and discrimination towards those who cannot speak
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english
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English
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. The reasons why I agree with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 statement will be elaborated on
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this
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in this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that
English
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 as a global
language
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 will bring positive feedback in today’s world.
This
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 is
possibly
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possible
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 because they viewed it as a means to connect
people
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 from two different
culture
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cultures
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 together. Take Thailand,
for example
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: a tourist from French buying a famous elephant pants in a local market with the use of basic
English
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 skills and able to purchase with the seller. It is interesting to note that both of them
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 born and raised
from
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in
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a non-
Correct the article-noun agreement
non-english speaker countries
a non-english speaker country
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english
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 speaker countries but
still
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are still
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 able to understand each other
by
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through
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 the use of universal
English
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.
However
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, I personally argue in favour of seeing
that
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apply
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the maleficent impact of choosing
particular
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a particular
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language
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 as a common
language
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, especially in terms of promoting supremacy and discrimination between
the
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apply
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fluent and non-fluent
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
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. In
this
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 respect, there is
an
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apply
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evident
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evidence
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 that
English
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also
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 created a controversial trend of those who
speaks
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speak
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English
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 well will often look down
others
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on others
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 who cannot speak the
language
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 as inferior to them.
For example
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, in Thailand many
people
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 who
able
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are able
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 to speak
English
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 well often seen as
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
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people
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,
whereas
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 those who
unable
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are unable
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 to speak
English
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 considered uneducated
people
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. In conclusion,
although
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 it is undeniable that
English
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as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a common
language
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 that
connect
Change the verb form
connects
show examples
 the world, its drawback of creating superiority should not be neglected in order to make the world a better place.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words english, language, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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