You recently organized a party for your company at a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter. --describe the party and how it went --explain why you were pleased with the hotel service. --suggest some improvements that the hotel could make.

Dear manager, I am writing to you
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
reason for
will set
Wrong verb form
setting
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the more
chair
Fix the agreement mistake
chairs
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and tables because they were little yesterday
which
Correct word choice
when
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I organized
party
Correct article usage
a party
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but it was very nice. I
did
Verb problem
had
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a party yesterday in your restaurant because it was suggested by my friend.
The our
Remove the article
Our
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company
ten
Add a missing verb
is ten
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years old, we organized it
my
Change preposition
with my
show examples
colleagues and some friends. They were pleased
the
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with the
show examples
hotel service. So, I
pleased
Add a missing verb
was pleased
show examples
hotel service because they worked very hard and rapidly. The
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
is very shining
for example
walls
Correct article usage
the walls
show examples
are white and yellow. I love these
colors
Change the spelling
colours
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.I had never seen waiters
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in your restaurant. I
pleased
Add a missing verb
am pleased
show examples
Change preposition
with they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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because their food, tea, wear fashion
very
Add a missing verb
are very
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good and
fashionably
Change the word
fashionable
show examples
. I am suggesting some improvements to your entertainment place. On the one hand, all
conditions
Correct article usage
the conditions
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are very nice but you must get
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
table, chair and bigger lights. They are more pleased
your
Change preposition
with your
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restaurant. Of course, it is
suggestion
Add an article
a suggestion
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for you. I hope
,
Remove the comma
apply
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you will back
respone
Correct your spelling
response
respond
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
letter as soon. Yours faithfully Odil Norkabulov
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Structure
Try to organize your ideas more clearly and logically. Start by introducing the party, then discuss the service, and finally suggest improvements.
Clarity
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve the overall clarity and flow of your letter.
Cohesion
Utilize transitions and cohesive devices more effectively to enhance the connection between your ideas.
Grammar
Consider revising your letter for grammatical errors and to ensure clarity in your message.
Content
For improvements, be specific about what you suggest and why these changes would enhance the hotel's service.
Task response
You've effectively mentioned all required points: the party description, satisfaction with the hotel, and suggested improvements.
Tone
Your friendly tone and politeness are in line with the context of writing a letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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