IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The two line graphs below show New Zealand import figures from Australia and Japan in the years 1994 - 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The two line graphs below show New Zealand import figures from Australia and Japan in the years 1994 - 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #two #line #graphs #show #zealand #import #figures #australia #japan #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graphs provided illustrate the number of imports
taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 place from two
diffrenet
Correct your spelling
different
 countries (
Australia
 and
Japan
) toward New
Zealand
 from 1994 to 2004.
Unit
Add an article
The unit
A unit
show examples
 used was NZ$ million.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 to
Australia
 started at 4000
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
japan
's
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 started at 3000.
Australia
's
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 to New
Zealand
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher during 2004 compared to
Japan
's (8000 and 2000 respectively). In terms of New
Zealand
's imports from
Australia
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
stared
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
 to increase gradually over
ywo
Correct your spelling
two
 years
then
 followed by a downward trend reaching 3000 during 1999.
Furthermore
, it again showed an upward trend
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 7400.
Then
 for the
last
 2
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it fluctuated. With regard to New
Zealand
's imports from
Japan
, during the period from 1994 until
1997
Add a comma
1997,
show examples
 it showed a rise of almost double what it was.
Then
 slightly decreaseing in 1999.
Finally
, it
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rose
 to exactly 6000 in 2000.
Then
 it showed a
steedy
Correct your spelling
steady
 constant decrease as it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 in 2004.
Submitted by safayahia63 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, japan, zealand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: