In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years,
people
Use synonyms

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can select their workplaces wherever they want,
thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they typically need to go far from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes

It seems that home may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In my opinion,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it has both pros and cons, I cannot declare which
one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is more crucial. It means that workers need to consider these depending on their situations. On the
one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

hand, working away from home has specific profits for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, including salary or job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities

It seems that opportunity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In numerous countries, working overseas allows
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to earn more resources than working in their nations. As an example, though Japan is
one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the most technological
country
Change to a plural noun
countries

The singular countable noun country follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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in the world, its salary is quite cheap compared to others like
United
Correct article usage
the United

Your article usage with the geographic name United Kingdom may be incorrect.

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Kingdom or
United
Correct article usage
the United

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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States. Their salaries would be
multipulied
Correct your spelling
multiplied

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if they get an occupation in these countries
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of Japan,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the merit of working far from home is significant.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the downside cannot be ignored, and the massive
one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is that they frequently feel
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness

If you don’t want lonliness to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

when they work apart from their families.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, working in
Correct article usage
the navy

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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navy
Capitalize word
Navy

The word navy should be capitalized in this context.

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is a tough job, and
Correct article usage
the navy
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navy
Capitalize word
Navy

The word navy should be capitalized in this context.

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requires their employees to be apart from their friends and relatives.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

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, it is typically continued over ten or twenty years.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period is too long for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and soldiers sometimes quit their jobs because of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
hurts
Fix the agreement mistake
hurt

It seems that hurts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of being far from their friends or families is crucially strong. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

getting
higher
Correct article usage
a higher

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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salary is a huge profit
of
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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being apart from their families and working in other places, the downside which
make
Change the verb form
makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject the downside. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

feel alone is considerable.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I personally believe that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to carefully assess these and make a decision depending on their ages or life stages.

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic well and discusses both advantages and disadvantages. However, it could be improved by giving a clearer stand on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
Focus on clarifying your main ideas. Your essay includes several good points, but they can sometimes be a bit unclear or repetitive. Try to make each paragraph focus on a single clear idea or argument.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logically follows from the previous one. Use more linking words and phrases to improve cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your essay well.
task response
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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