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Band 5

the chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canda, and the United Kingdom last year.

the chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canda, and the United Kingdom last year.
#goods #services #australia #canda #kingdom #year
The bar graph below illustrates the rate of shopping online
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various kinds of products and services in three different nations (
Australia
,
Canada
 and the
UK
) in the
last
 12 months. In general, It can be clearly observed that the most purchased items
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cyber and
net
Correct article usage
the net
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 United Kingdom.
In addition
, relatively
Australia
 was In the middle
position
, followed by
Canada
Change preposition
in
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the lowest
position
 in purchasing online.
To begin
 with, the United Kingdom was the most dominant in almost all purchasing items including music, books, computer appliances, DVD videos, and food and beverages with several exceptions.
For example
, the ratio of music was around 60%
while
 In
Australia
 and
Canada
 were approximately 38% and 35% respectively.
In contrast
, financial service has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 deviation trend in which it was the least purchased item in the
UK
.
As the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 data shown in the chart is around 2%, 15% in
Canada
, and 18% in
Australia
.
Moreover
,
Australia
 generally was in the 2nd
position
 in buying online items.
For instance
, food and drink was less than 20%,
while
 the top
position
 in the United Kingdom was roughly 22% and In the bottom
position
 was
Canada
 which was about 1%.
However
Australia
 was leading in buying services of funding,
in contrast
 it was the least consuming in computers and toys, take a look at the evidence in toys, it was less than 5 % compared to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Canada
 which almost reached 20%.
Finally
,
Canada
 frankly was in the 3rd
position
 in shopping online.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
DVD videos were less than 15%,
while
 both in the
UK
 and
Australia
 were around 39% and 20%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
turn. But,
this
 figure never gets chosen
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the most favourite during the period shown.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example, in contrast, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, canada, uk, position with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼

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