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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sectors in two countries in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sectors in two countries in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate the number of each worker's shares, in 2007, based on their genders in different parts of the two countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 was the most popular
section
Use synonyms
 among two other sections in both countries.
Also
Linking Words
, in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, nearly all of the employees whether they were men or women, worked in
this
Linking Words
section
Use synonyms
. First of all, more than half of the proportion of male
workers
Use synonyms
 worked in the
service
Use synonyms
 sector in both countries A and
B
Use synonyms
 with 54% and 65% respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 employees who worked in the
industry
Use synonyms
 had the second share with more than one-third in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, in
country
Use synonyms
 A, the
industry
Use synonyms
's
workers
Use synonyms
 with only 15% were the lowest amount in comparison to the other parts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the agriculture
section
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 with a minor share, of about 3% which was a quarter lower than the same share in
country
Use synonyms
 A, was the least interesting
section
Use synonyms
. Second of all, nearly all of the female
workers
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 were passionate about working in the
service
Use synonyms
 sections, with less than 90%.
However
Linking Words
, the agriculture
section
Use synonyms
 like male
workers
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 had the lowest amount of interest among female
workers
Use synonyms
 with only a per cent.
However
Linking Words
, in
country
Use synonyms
, A the
service
Use synonyms
section
Use synonyms
 and the agricultural part had similar proportions, 49% and 43% respectively which means more than 90% of the female
workers
Use synonyms
 were occupied in these sections.
Also
Linking Words
, the
industry
Use synonyms
section
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 like the male
workers
Use synonyms
, was the lowest with only less than one ten per cent in total.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words service, industry, section, country, b, workers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • percentage
  • sector
  • comparison
  • male
  • female
  • country
  • evaluation
  • trend
  • proportion
  • data
  • contrast
  • variation
  • labor market
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