You work in a busy but poorly organized office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter • Ask to be considered for this job • Explain why you would be a suitable candidate • Outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

Dear Mr. Pat, I am
Writing
Fix capitalization
writing
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in connection with applying for the supervisor position for which you are searching. I think I am a qualified candidate because of
strong
Correct pronoun usage
my strong
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qualifications.
In addition
, I believe these fruitful experiences suit the needs of
this
position. Given the fact that
,
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apply
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I hold a bachelor’s degree
at
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in
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project management. I completed my
under graduation
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undergraduate
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studies at White University in 1997. I have various certificates suitable for
this
position,
such
as communication skills and time management.
Moreover
, I believe I am a hardworking person and I have
strong
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a strong
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work
ethics
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ethic
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. Different prizes
due to
management
Correct article usage
the management
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of
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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first anniversary can be true evidence of these characteristics.
According to
my experiences in
this
office, I found most customers have
complains
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complaints
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about times for breaks and off.
Therefore
, rescheduling these times is essential for our office’s success.
In addition
, most
personal’s
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personal
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data or information related to their tasks are not ample.
Due to
the fact that they are not able to meet costumers’ deadline.
As a result
of
this
, employees do not reach their goals. I think I can provide different
trainings
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training
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and tasks
with
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to
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employees in order to improve their skills and abilities. I hope you take my modest proposal into consideration. should you need to on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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. I can be reached on 132. Yours sincerely, M. Ka
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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task achievement
While the letter addresses all necessary points, some areas lack detail, such as specific problems and exact changes you would implement. Consider adding more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The letter occasionally has awkward phrasing and inconsistent tense usage. Revise sentences for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a single idea per paragraph. Try not to mix qualifications and personal attributes in the same paragraph. Instead, separate them for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and polite, which sets a positive tone.
task achievement
You have included relevant qualifications and experiences, which strengthens your application.
task achievement
The desire to improve the office and outline specific areas of improvement demonstrates initiative and problem-solving skills.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • keen to be promoted
  • suitable candidate
  • supervisor role
  • relevant experience
  • organizational abilities
  • problem-solving skills
  • familiarity with current problems
  • impact on productivity
  • streamlining processes
  • improving communication channels
  • introducing new tools and technologies
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