Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that the trend of migrating to other
areas
for more potential working opportunities has been accelerated by many employees. As far as workers find it a chance to change their life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
tendency has many benefits due to
a range of reasons.
First and foremost, living in a competitive environment could allow people to open the door of
a better life. Change preposition
to
While
workers actually have the aspiration about
solving their financial burden Change preposition
to
by
a well-paid job, Change preposition
with
the
employers may consider it as a potential human resource to strengthen their career, which can alleviate Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
umemployment
and other societal issues. Correct your spelling
unemployment
For instance
, some rural fathers decide to live in urban areas
so as to guarantee better lives for their families.
Secondly
, attending the metropolis might be a
correct option for Correct article usage
the
offsprings
to take care of their Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
parents
in remote areas
in economical aspect. They could be really successful if they try earning money efficiently, thus
providing their parents
' home with modern furniture and convenient
lifestyle. A simple example is that the allocation of affluent citizens is Correct article usage
a convenient
widespreaded
in downtown, facilitating descendants to Correct your spelling
widespread
fullfill
their duties of looking after their Correct your spelling
fulfil
parents
.
Notwithstanding, the drawback of this
orientation is what employees should rethink, which stems from finding harsh to reach the
high position in Correct article usage
a
urban
environment. Ironically, stimulating themselves to exert effort for the aims is absolutely uneasy, yet Add an article
an urban
the urban
staffs
just have to face Fix the agreement mistake
staff
to
that problem in Change preposition
apply
a
short term, thereby triggering them to an evident success.
Correct article usage
the
To sum up
, while
the preference for emigrating to other areas
to get possible opportunities can be seen as potentially risky, the merits are far more significant due to
having better lives and getting a chance to help workers' parents
.Submitted by alicema0503 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
While your logical structure is quite solid, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a thoughtful introduction and conclusion. Consider making the introduction slightly clearer in presenting the essay's outline of arguments.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples and further elaborate on the points made to strengthen your arguments. This can make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined structure with clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.
Task Response
You address the task fully and cover the important points, ensuring a comprehensive response.
Task Response
You have used relevant examples to illustrate your points. However, you can make the examples slightly more specific for better impact.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.