Directors of large organisations recieve much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while other think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#directors #organisations #recieve #salaries #workers #think

Some people believe the chairman of the

company

must earn higher

salaries

than other

workers

however

, there is another attitude

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

it is unfair. I know

recieving

Correct your spelling

receiving

unbalanced

salaries

might cause dissatisfaction and show the

less

Correct word choice

lower

show examples

contributions of the

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

company

Add an article

the company

show examples

, but I disagree with that and I will examine and explain. On the one hand, we are living in a fair world and it is reasonable that staff request balanced

salaries

. The difference between

salaries

leads to dissatisfaction and demotivation in large companies.

In addition

, ordinary

workers

contribute significantly to the

company

's success, and if it were not for their

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

, the

company

would never achieve their goals.

For example

, 95% of the

workers

in Google are ordinary

wrokers

Correct your spelling

workers

and the success of

this

company

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

this

staff.

Thus

, they might feel that they are not useful enough in

company

Correct article usage

the company

show examples

, but it is not true in real. Despite

this

, I think it can cause motivation which

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

want

Fix the infinitive

to want

show examples

to grow

their self

Correct pronoun usage

themself

themselves

show examples

On the other hand

, the more

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

that you have the more responsibility you have.

For example

, if the

company

madewrong

Correct your spelling

made wrong

decisions which lead to bankruptcy, the chairman is responsible for that.

Additionally

, offering high

salaries

prevents directors from leaving the competitors and ensures stability in the

company

Therefore

, we should not ignore the importance of the directors in companies. In conclusion, directors earn higher

salaries

in large organisations than other ordinary

workers

, despite their disadvantages as

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I indicated,

on the contrary

Correct pronoun usage

this is

show examples

necessary because they are more responsible and the

company

should satisfy them.

Submitted by shahab.a on Sat May 25 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear discussion of both views and an opinion, which is effective. However, to improve your score, ensure that your ideas are expressed more clearly and consider expanding on some points to add depth to your discussion.

coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring paragraphs more effectively. For instance, each idea should be discussed in a separate paragraph, and the argument should flow logically from one point to the next.

grammar and vocabulary

Work on grammar and sentence structure to minimize errors. This will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

task achievement

You provided a balanced discussion of both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion well.

task achievement

You used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
compensation package
income disparity
retention
motivation
organizational stability
workforce
contribution
executive talent
organizational leadership
economic inequality
equity
job satisfaction
employee welfare
dedication

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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