Directors of large organisations recieve much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while other think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the chairman of the
company
must earn higher
salaries
than other
workers
,
however
, there is another attitude
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
it is unfair. I know
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
unbalanced
salaries
might cause dissatisfaction and show the
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
contributions of the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
in
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
, but I disagree with that and I will examine and explain. On the one hand, we are living in a fair world and it is reasonable that staff request balanced
salaries
. The difference between
salaries
leads to dissatisfaction and demotivation in large companies.
In addition
, ordinary
workers
contribute significantly to the
company
's success, and if it were not for their
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
, the
company
would never achieve their goals.
For example
, 95% of the
workers
in Google are ordinary
wrokers
Correct your spelling
workers
and the success of
this
company
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
of
this
staff.
Thus
, they might feel that they are not useful enough in
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
, but it is not true in real. Despite
this
, I think it can cause motivation which
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
want
Fix the infinitive
to want
show examples
to grow
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the more
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
that you have the more responsibility you have.
For example
, if the
company
madewrong
Correct your spelling
made wrong
decisions which lead to bankruptcy, the chairman is responsible for that.
Additionally
, offering high
salaries
prevents directors from leaving the competitors and ensures stability in the
company
.
Therefore
, we should not ignore the importance of the directors in companies. In conclusion, directors earn higher
salaries
in large organisations than other ordinary
workers
, despite their disadvantages as
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I indicated,
on the contrary
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
necessary because they are more responsible and the
company
should satisfy them.
Submitted by shahab.a on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both views and an opinion, which is effective. However, to improve your score, ensure that your ideas are expressed more clearly and consider expanding on some points to add depth to your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring paragraphs more effectively. For instance, each idea should be discussed in a separate paragraph, and the argument should flow logically from one point to the next.
grammar and vocabulary
Work on grammar and sentence structure to minimize errors. This will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • compensation package
  • income disparity
  • retention
  • motivation
  • organizational stability
  • workforce
  • contribution
  • executive talent
  • organizational leadership
  • economic inequality
  • equity
  • job satisfaction
  • employee welfare
  • dedication
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