IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

you are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter -Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience -Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience -Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

#three #months #work #organisation #manager #-thank #opportunity #-explain #hope #-ask #questions
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Dear Sir, I am writing a letter to inform you that I will be spending three months at your organisation for
working
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work
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 experience.
Firstly
, I thank you for your kind consideration
to provide
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in providing
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 me
the
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with the
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 golden opportunity to gain valuable experience at your corporate house. I am really excited to work with your account department team . As you communicated, I will be joining on 1st July
,
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apply
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2024. Since your company deals with international clients, I am hoping to learn vital rules and policies for accounting, tax, trading structure and their applications.
I
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I am
I was
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also
 eager to know crucial things about
Indian
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the Indian
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taxtation
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taxation
 system and how to clear complicated income tax return forms. I have strong feelings that these 3 months
training
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of training
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 will be
turning
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a turning
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 point in my career.
Furthermore
, I would like to ask you
about
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for
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 some information. You may
advice
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advise
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 me
what
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on what
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 should I prepare prior to joining you.
In addition
, will I get
chance
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a chance
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 to visit clients
druring
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during
 field
visit
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visits
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 as
this
 will give me practical exposure
.
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?
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 I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, ANAND VAISHNAV
Submitted by ahv on

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Task Achievement
In your letter, try to expand a bit more on what you hope to learn specifically and how it will benefit your future career. This will make your response more complete and detailed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although the letter is quite cohesive, adding a few linking phrases or words can help the ideas flow more smoothly. For example, using 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' at the beginning of the last paragraph could improve the cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and add a polite tone to your letter.
Task Achievement
Your writing tone is suitable for a formal letter and reflects your eagerness and gratitude for the opportunity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph in your letter has a single clear idea which enhances readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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