IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently notice a local restaurant offering a part time job Write a letter to the restaurant’s manager. In your letter •Explain that you would like to apply for this job •Give some details of relevant experience that you have •specify the date and time that would suit for you You should write at least 150 words You don’t write any address

#notice #restaurant #part #time #job #restaurant’s #manager #•explain #•give #•specify #date #don’t #address
Dear KC and Amy, I am writing to inform you that I finished two years of hospitality management and commercial cookery. Let me start by saying that working with SSP has been a pleasure.
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I finished the Diploma of Hospitality Management,
then
 I attached the diploma and letter of completion. From now on, I am on holiday.
Due to
 those reasons, I would
therefore
 request a full-time contract.
On the other hand
, I will apply for visa 485 quickly. I let you know as soon as I send the application to immigration. Please do not hesitate to contact me to discuss
further
. Yours faithfully, Claudia Patino
Submitted by klaudia2301 on

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task achievement
Make sure the letter clearly states the intent to apply for the part-time job and explicitly mentions the job role you're interested in.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by structuring the letter more clearly. Consider separating your qualifications and your availability into distinct paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately formal and adhere to letter-writing conventions.
task achievement
The writing tone is polite and respectful, which is suitable for a job application.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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