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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qualification for successful work?

#employers #value #people #skills #qualifications #qualification #work
In the present day, many
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 are requesting more soft
skills
 when renting individuals for
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 than the quality of degree.
This
 writer believes that social
skills
 outweigh
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good certification
due to
 the richness of experiences and effective productivity It must be recognized that
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large amount of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 is the most essential component in
working
Add an article
the working
a working
show examples
 environment.
Due to
 the fact that many managers tend to
priority to
Wrong verb form
prioritise
show examples
 the social
skills
 of the
employees
 to hire them for working in the companies.
Therefore
, a person without any qualification can easily apply for the position in any company
due to
 the quality of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
. To clarify
this
 point, industrial companies in Vietnam
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a suitable example when most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
managers always focus on the social
skills
 that the
employees
 have
gain
Change the verb form
gained
show examples
 through their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. There is no doubt that good capacity is the core reason that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the
employees
 easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get a job. It is not difficult to understand that the standard of being
Correct article usage
a workers
show examples
workers
Fix the agreement mistake
worker
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on the
employeess'
Correct your spelling
employees'
 productivity. To think it simply, the company will hire a person who works studiously and effectively
instead
 of choosing
lazy
Add an article
a lazy
the lazy
show examples
 person with good
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
.
For
this
 reason, many
employees
 will try their best to work hard and approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 successful future.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
 Ellon Musk as an example who always tries to work hard without any
complaint
Fix the agreement mistake
complaints
show examples
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 tiredness.
To conclude
 briefly, soft
skills
 will be the most important factor for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
managers to hire
employees
 for
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main argument and provides a structured roadmap for the essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Add more specific, relevant examples to support your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on reducing grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to make your writing flow more naturally.
task achievement
You have recognized the role of social skills and provided examples to support your views.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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