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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

“The graph compares the percentage of international students and the percentage of UK learners gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university.”

“The graph compares the percentage of international students and the percentage of UK learners gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university.”
#“the #percentage #students #uk #learners #second #class #degrees #university
The graph
provieds
Correct your spelling
provides
information
 about the proportion of global
students
 and the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK
 education gaining the
second class
Add a hyphen
second-class
show examples
 scores or best at major
UK
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
.
Overall
 , the graph
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK
 and international
students
 gaining
second class
Add a hyphen
second-class
show examples
 degrees or better in the year 2009. As can be
seen
Add a comma
seen,
show examples
 there fluctuated of percentages from
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
students
 and international
students
moreover
 international
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest per cent of
information
 technology
Add the comma(s)
, in contrast,
show examples
in contrast
 international
students
 was the lowest
protion
Correct your spelling
portion
 of international law . Now turning to details , the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 nursing was the same level
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
while
 international
students
 of electric engineering
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 higher than
UK
students
in addition
 international
students
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 to peak of
information
 technology
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was above 80 %
whereas
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
students
 of
information
 technology made up under 60 % after that
UK
students
 increased moderately untill art history .
Submitted by sialamer on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words information, students, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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