More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays because of growing
technology
working from home
has become more common among workers. However
, some individuals think this
development is really helpful for employees and their families. While
others think they bring work
stress into their home
. I am going to interpret both of these views and in the,
end I am going to give my own opinions on the examples that I am going to discuss.
To start with, Remove the comma
apply
this
development in technology
beneficially impacts all humankind worldwide. To give an example, employees who have a very long distance from their home
to their workplace now they
can easily do their job Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
in Infront
Infront
of their Correct your spelling
front
laptop
. Not only Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
this
action helps
people to Correct subject-verb agreement
help
work
in their comfortable house
but Fix the agreement mistake
houses
also
, they help the environment as well by not using privet cars. Furthermore
, this
technology
gives an opportunity for applicants who are not native to the country, they can have projects from other countries without travelling there. In addition
, people can work
and earn their wages without missing their families and children.
On the other hand
, others think home
working has some disadvantages. For instance
, some individuals think people who work
in their house can bring job stress into their house and this
action directly impacts the relations between spouses. Moreover
, new statistics illustrate that 80% of family problems are signified in their workplace. Although
we cannot underestimate the importance of this
technology
, the community should learn how to separate working life from real life.
To sum up
, in my, opinion this
technology
and development are very helpful for all humankind. The point is that individuals should learn how to use it in good and beneficially
waysChange the word
beneficial
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the scope of the discussion and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while giving a definitive opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Using paragraphs effectively to separate different points can improve the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples and evidence.
task achievement
Try to balance arguments for both views before providing your own opinion to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have addressed both views comprehensively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, making the essay more convincing.