IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

(Pie. The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 39% 19% 48% 13% 71% 53% North America South America Europe Africa 84% 32% 15% Central Asia South East Asia Industrial Use Agricultural Use 100% + Domestic Use

(Pie. The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 39% 19% 48% 13% 71% 53% North America South America Europe Africa 84% 32% 15% Central Asia South East Asia Industrial Use Agricultural Use 100% + Domestic Use
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons #america #europe #africa #asia
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption for several purposes compared with six different countries across the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen apparently that the highest
water
Use synonyms
 used is agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 in all nations, except North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest common purpose is domestic
use
Use synonyms
,
besides
Linking Words
 Africa and South
America
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, North
America
Use synonyms
 uses
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
use
Use synonyms
 the most, accounting for 48%, followed by agricultural and domestic aspects, which made up 39% and 18%, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, European people consume
water
Use synonyms
 significantly for industrial objectives, 53%, and
then
Linking Words
 farming and household
use
Use synonyms
 rank second and
third,
Linking Words
constituting 32% and 15% order.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are 71% of people in South
America
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 in an area of agriculture and a moderate range in the other areas, which occupy 10%-19%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
African
Fix the agreement mistake
Africans
show examples
consume
Correct pronoun usage
who consume
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for farming contributes 84%,
however
Linking Words
, there were around 7%-9% in the other two aspects. Central Asia has 88% in planting perspective,
while
Linking Words
 there was a similar figure in factory and residence used, being 5% to 7% in range.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the largest segment of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in South East Asia is
also
Linking Words
 a purpose of agriculture, which is responsible for 81%, followed by factory and dweller consumption, occupying 12% and 7%, respectively.
Submitted by saiparnwc on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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